Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i think my cat just said my name.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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