His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize