o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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