Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
