Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
