you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
