I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
