He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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