my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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