Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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