Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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