Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
