"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize