She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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