Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
