We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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