i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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