Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
