But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
