the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
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Do I have a choice?
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I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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