How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
