I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
one might say we're banned from that church
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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