i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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