I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
