is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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