kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
