thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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