I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
