They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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