so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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