Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
