3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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