roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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