how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
