Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
