just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
