Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
