remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Dignity is for republicans.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize