How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I puked a lego.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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