I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
