awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
