he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
