I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize