yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
