So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
