Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize