I think i peed on brittanys purse
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I woke up under a house in Key West
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