i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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