don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
