I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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