But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
