The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I don't deserve a penis
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
