there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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