Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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