I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize