Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
