I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
