did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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