worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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