Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize