therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
