Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
