super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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