dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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