I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
