sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
